Twitter-fuckery, What?!

What is some people’s major malfunction on twitter when you try to be a good friend to someone but then, they ignore/block you even when you’ve done nothing wrong?! Sometimes they give you a reason, other times, nothing… just fucking nothing!!! That irritates the fuck outta me sometimes and makes contemplate whether or not to delete the fucking thing as if to say a massive “FUCK YOU THEN!!” No-one in their right mind would do that to you in real life, so why on fucking social media?!

Too much power goes to their heads and take things to heart too much, I shouldn’t even be writing this, in all honesty and probably keep this to myself, but I’ve come across some just odd people during my 6 odd years on “Twatter” that first appear, have fun with a couple of people and then leave, some more civil the most and explain why they decide it’s their time to go, for others, it’s just a numbers game and don’t care if you’re real or not but that’s just my opinion to be frank, there are times where even me have been a bit hypocritical about leaving but staying about, i swear most of the time Twitter is definitely like a drug, you try to break away but you get drawn back in and it’s not fucking healthy for anyone.

I have decided that i am not going to name anyone in this ‘so-called’ rant but there have been a few case where i decided not to get too attached to the person behind their accounts; one too many people change their mind about you at the last-minute and decide that you’re not worthy of following ’em anymore… some ask you to unfollow and i can respect them in that regard because that’s just common courtesy , but then there are others and whether you do/say something wrong or out of turn and you try to amend that mistake; instant block and they probably badmouth you about it afterwards, HATE those types of people!! But why be bitter about it huh? it’s social media FFS!! I keep telling myself about it but i can’t help it sometimes, it’s a compulsion for me to whinge about it because i don’t like fucking off people in general, even when im sometimes wrong or whether im not in the wrong.

Twitter has been a hard one for me this year as too many ‘friends’ have thought less of me and blocked me, and when they create a new account and you recognise and try to follow them, they don’t want you around anymore for whatever reason… and that sucks fucking bollocks!! But it taught me to never trust anyone on it, even me, keep up the banter, which im trying to do but i just don’t like that word ‘banter’ sounds fucking evil to me! Watch what you say to certain people,  and just watch out for yourself, like the old saying; keep your friends close but your enemies very close because it could be who you least suspect!!

This is probably just a mini rant that’s not so mini lol but it’s something i have been thinking about for a long time and.. i don’t know, i just don’t know…..

But as this is the new year , all i can say about it is; This year has been shit on twitter for me but i’ve learned not to be a fucktard to people inadvertently, definitely NOT trust anything anyone says, because they can turn on you without you knowing it, keep those that want you around, around and keep your guard up!!

2017, is mine, and I want it to be the best this time, not fucking around anymore!!

I Finally got one!!!

Got one what i hear you ask? Well, as nearly most of you know, and for those that don’t… ini the middle of november, i recently got a work placement for three months working 2 days a week at a local housing. It has been challenging geting back into the routine of waking up for work, but i managed it, even if it was for 2 days lol

Last week i was told by line manager that she has some news for me from her line manager about something, at the time, i didn’t know what it was until we had a meeting/catch up to find out how i was doing, etc…. Turns out that i was offered a position at a community centre, full time and everything!! When they told me about this, i was doubtful as in “are they pulling my leg?!” so i asked ’em if they were being serious, they said they were! I was taken aback abit but very excited at the same time coz i thought “FINALLY!!! I GOT A FUCKING JOB!!” I was professional about it as well as relieved that i have gotten somewhere FINALLY, after sooooooooo long!! It was starting to grain on me of not being able to get my foot in the door, but some people that i have talked to were right after all, do some volunteering, you may get something out of it, and for me that was a proper job!! And it seem my mum deserves the credit tbh because it was her idea to go for it… Hate it when she’s right sometimes tho but credit where credit is due i guess lol

The new job starts in the new year and i am very nervous but pumped at the same time as well as i don’t know what to expect to be frank but im sure i’ll be fine and i will not chucked in the deep end either as my new line manager will be starting with me as well and she’s someone i have worked with before in the main office so i’m good there… “phew” lol

The job is Community support Officer and it starts on the 3rd January 2017, it’ll be a three month probation period and if i do very well, might lead to a permanent position … Definitely a begining for the new year for me and it’ll be fucking worth it!!

YES, I FUCKING FINALLY GOT A JOB!!! YES, FINALLY….. And this time, it’s legit, Booyah!!

Do women scare me? You decide….

Why do i have this fucked up, crazy fear of women?! it’s something that’s been bothering me recently and im 30 years old…. I should be out there meeting people and getting/having some type of life, when in reality, i am always at home, broke, sulking, getting more annoyed/jealous at the people i know having a full life, problems and all.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, why i am abit nervous of women, i really don’t fucking know… guess it’s probably due to my shyness of the world, shyness of people, just not wanting to experience life in anyway what so ever. I admit i have always be a loner, a lazy loner at that and that’s something I have come to accept really, despite the fact i am trying to find work and better myself in that regard, socially im not so sure….

Guess i should get over my nervousness and  just get on with it, probably…… but if anyone want to answer this in anyway you want, have at me…. i’m sure i won’t like it but go for gold anyway!!

So close but yet so far….

On the 15^th April, I got an email offering me for an interview for an Admin Assistant role, I went to the interview on the 18^th in a hotel rather than their office, which I thought was a bit weird, but it turns out it wasn’t a proper interview per se, more like a screening for the vacancy…. Anyway suffice to say, I thought nothing less of it as it happens WAY too often when I heard nothing back from them….. further down the line, I got an email on the 28^th, offering me an alternate position for better the pay, and location-wise was convenient for me, so I decided to check it out after I got an email yesterday confirming everything.

After I agreed to accepting the offer and to sign the contract, I read the email again abit suspiciously, to find out about this accreditation nonsense and that I have to pay half the fee of this because as it turns out it’s one of those ISO Companies, which I’m not familiar with but sounds off to me.

This morning I went down to the location thinking I’m just gonna sign the contract and worry about the payment when I’m employed anyway on the start date, did the usual shtick with my credentials with registering myself and signing the contract so I can start but then they(she) told me that the accreditation fee is a must in order for me to sign the contract with them and start the work placement, that’s when I got worried as they were chatting their arses off to me I was half paying attention, and mostly worrying about HOW THE FUCK I’m going to come up with that kind of money to pay them to start the so called better job…… HOW?!?!

I was told after a discussion she had, she cannot sign the contract unless I have the fee, after we said goodbye’s I started to doubt whether I want to be associated with them, and it was obvious that I don’t because the main question is: Why the flying fuck would they ask me to pay half a fee that’s in the hundreds(only 2 but still a lot of money) when I said to them, countless times that I am on the dole and I don’t have any money on me?!?! Crooks!! I told my mum about and she even thinks that they’re dodgy after she read the email I printed out when I got back home!!

I just came back from another chat with mum and she told me to ignore them because they’re crooked, and to just carrying on jobsearching via straight on companies, not agencies. We both know I’ve been trying my fucking damnedest to look for work, she could see the disappointment on my face, but of course she’s right as always and we both agreed that it’s impossible for me to go through with it…. I am fucking gutted right now that I came so close but twas just a dream so…. I might do less jobsearch but still going because I want to get off the dole so much and make myself useful but going have to start from the bottom I guess….

What is love… really, what is it?

What is love anyway? i dunno what it is, as i never experienced it between someone i wanna spend the rest of my life with… if that’s even fucking gonna happen in this lifetime anyway! I have reasons of why i don’t date, have a girlfriend and go out shagging everything out there like a fucking dog on heat!

I’m too selfish with a lot of things: like money for instance, i didn’t grow up with wealth on my side anyway. and i am pretty much spend it as soon as i get it anyway so i am pretty useless with it!

And i don’t like the idea of spending it all on one girl if you actually managed to get a date out of dumb fucking luck, or that she actually likes you! yes, money makes the world go round, that’s true but it’s also the root of evil and greed! people that have it, don’t wanna share it, people that don’t have it, want it but probably never will get it anyway!

I am not that interesting anyway, not a good conversationalist, so i don’t know why they want to learn about you and vice versa if at the end of it all, it’s fucking pointless and u get hurt/dumped cause of something u did or something they did, blah blah fucking blah!

I Like my own space too much, and i don’t like company at all anyway, cause as i stated before, i m not that fucking interesting, fucking hate pretend to be interesting cause it doesn’t suit me now, don’t trust people anyway and I’ve been a loner all my life and i am fine with that!

I never liked people telling me to cheer up/smile, never did and never will, i may look miserable, but i am too angry to really say anything like “shut the fuck up”, “Leave me alone” and/or just plain “fuck off” which is why i keep my gob shut at certain times since i don’t wanna cause a fuss, lose an argument and might look like a lunatic, and i just don’t want fucking too, alright??

I think that women/girls are crazy and scary, but that’s just me, i do have reasons, not just lashing out cause i am not getting some or whatever, i just don’t wanna get into a fucking conflict that i’ll probably lose anyhow!

I don’t like the dating game, to me it just sounds like a game of win, lose or draw; Win, u got the date but dunno what to do afterwards and probably fuck it up anyway! Lose, self explanatory!! Draw, pretty much just making another friend going for drinks or something, which isn’t bad i guess but again, what do i know, right?!

And i don’t even wanna go on about dating websites, what a crock of shite they are: i was testing the waters on how they worked recently, looked at some profiles of the people on there, men are much more relaxed about their choices, Women, more specific….. i would say “fussy” and “picky”, but that would be making a molehill out of an ant farm, so to speak but that’s their choice and they can do whatever they want really! saying that, what do i know, i am just a loner wanker!!

Alas, i digress, i am just a loner wanker with anger issues and depression(i think, i don’t want admit it!!) that keeps wishing that he would go out of his own way to live life because but doesn’t want to because he(me) doesn’t want to keep getting fucked by life all the time, but i know (should know by now) that life’s not a easy to walk through, there will be bumps along the way and you just have to do the best you can to avoid them or tackle them head on and hopefully come through the other side a better person or a wreck, it’s up to you at the end of the day of what kind of person you want to be in life.

Me saying this is kind of hypocritical but it is true and i want to be that person but it is hard when i am feeling like this to be honest, maybe when i finally snap out of this depression i’ll see what i have been missing all this time, i do want to find that special someone and experience it for myself, despite my age, i am still not ready mentally to deal with whatever this thing called “Love”, let alone life!! Hopefully in my own time i can be the person that i want to be, someday……..

Constructive criticism allowed if you want…..

Is Twitter bad for you?! Yay or Nay: you decide!

Why is twitter bad for you? There’s loads of reasons why it’s bad for you, i may actually go through some of them them now, in depth while i am still irrate!

1. Some are just after the numbers to see who has the most followers, like this is a fucking competition or something fucked up like that! news flash: It’s a fucking social Networking site, not Mecca Bingo, a gambling site or whatever!
2. Some People just wanna Get off on Pussy, Tits and Ass Pics! again: It’s a fucking social Networking site, not a dating sex site, there’s actual site for that kinda fucking shit! There’s a reason why some people said “no Dick pics/AVIs” in the bio’s/tweets and they must tired of repeating themselves over and over again, the same with it’s their twitter motto, they can do whatever they want, yeah, so can other people apparently!
3. Some are just arrogant with who they talk too, they think that gives them the right to speak to ‘em in whatever way they like and expect to just take it under the chin and go ‘whatever’… little did they know, that the people behind their accounts are REAL PEOPLE, not sext bots for your fucking pleasure! It’s called RESPECT, or have you lost that during your growing up or something?!
4. Dealing with the unfollowing, for some people it’s not big deal for ‘em, “whatever, moving on!” they probably have their own reasons for this: they think your boring, didn’t like what u posted, turns on you cause someone else didn’t like you! to be honest, the same can be said when it’s someone who u thought was your friend but decided that they just had enough of you and don’t wanna know you no more, didn’t like your tweets or whatever!
5. The mundane of twitter can be sometimes painful to look at/be on sometimes, especially if your on there everyday… most people suffer from this, i am definitely a victim of this, i want to leave but can’t break free of it!
6. Twitter Trolls: They’re everywhere in the world and their main aim on Twitter, Facebook, etc is to make u feel bad by spouting hate on those who they think are easy targets for abuse, just to make themselves feel superior because… just because and the victims have to from this!!

Those were just some of the examples, while they maybe nonsense to some, deep down, they know it’s the truth, and to the rest who know this already, can agree with me into what i am babbling on about here, and i have pretty much have experienced the highs and the definite lows on being on this Networking site or whatever for the amount of time i have been on here(twitter by the way!) and even tho I have made some great friends on it, sometimes it can turn sour on you and it can get dry if you’re on there EVERYDAY, i know i do ALOT!! and sometimes i understand some people i follow take breaks, just to get a breather from the lunacy Asylum that is twitter!

My experience recently has been bumpy despite my length, contemplating whether to leave or not, caring less and less everyday, not saying much on the TL, being interesting, etc etc! And i have had this account for over 4 years now… hard to believe, no?

To be honest, don’t think it matters in the end who you can and cannot be-friend on there at the end of the day, it’s only twitter, not an AA meeting! (well it kind of is and isn’t but that’s besides the point!)